Slim McCool and Shorty McNasty had a debate last night. I guess you heard. Slim was cool. Shorty was nasty—very nasty. Weirdly nasty. Alarmingly nasty. The man seemed a bit unbalanced. What's with the blinking? The little fiery coal eyes full of hatred. Who do you hate so much, Shorty? The (black) man sitting beside you, calm, cool, and collected? Or those Vietnamese jailers who kept you in prison all those years? Or those kids in the Naval Academy who got better grades than you? Or your admiral father, who made you feel like you'd never measure up? Or God, who made you such a shorty? Whoever, whatever it is you hate, it disturbs me to think you could ever become president of the United States, saddled with all that hatred. It's a big job. A job (ideally) for a big heart, and a big soul. Speaking of which, check out these lovely pictures....